i once knew a guy. a playful guy, he used to flirt with every girl he met. i was often times the target of these such attacks as i hung around him and his group of friends periodically. i swore that he could love anything under the sun as long as it had legs and a nice chest. disgusted i often times ignored him until i could no longer stand his sly whispers often times saying such comments as i think we should hook up sometime and wanna go to my place?. i soon moved away and he never took the effort to even call but when i received the call from a friend telling me he had contracted HIV and was in the hospital dying, i wasn't surprised nor did i care. later when attending his funeral tears came to my eyes. an onslaught of pain and pity for a man that never knew what love really was and who, despite his efforts, died alone. i never got over the irony of it, and still haven't today.
i once knew a girl. a girl that shimmered on TV, smiling and talking to various others, so happy i could puke. *giggle* the world is a great place! let's sing! la-la-la-- she would say in her happy tone. by-and-by her blond hair faded and her smile grew dim and on the last day of her now not to happy show, shots rang out from a perturbed young girl insane from daily chatter. no one knew the pain behind the smiles or the long nights using a knife to purge away the hidden sorrow. she smiled while wasting fake smiles and cheery tones before falling to her own madness among the daunting silence that followed. i sat in awe and disbelief at the blood that flowed along the stage, an actor's realm of hell, surrounded by those calling for violence and as the little birdie said i told you so.
i once came across a guy. a very cute guy, he loved to look at the world through closed eyes. sitting in the middle of a busy street, he tried to find the meaning to life. standing on the edge of a cliff, he pondered the reasons for suffering. i tried to grab a word with him once but in reply all he did was shrug and continue on whispering under his breath, dying must be life. i must be dying. i stopped seeing him around like i used to. and seasons changed before i heard he was left alone, dying in the hospital, his life began when he was surrounded by the sick and those that needed a reason left to live. i visited him on the day he died. a hospital stained white to cover up the sadness, no longer could he stand such a place with no reasons left to live. i still swear it was the hospital that killed him.
I once knew a girl. a very shy girl, she seemed to smile when left alone. never spoke a word, always sat in the corner, a frown always hugging the corners of her mouth. no one ever guessed she spent her afternoons in bars selling speed to homeless wonders. i visited her one day, when i saw her she was bright and smiling. did you ever know that i love the moon she exclaimed when i came near. i was blown back by her voice, i had never heard it before, ever. she seemed a different person when surrounded by smoke and dirty drunk men. i never saw her again. i don't know if she's still alive, or maybe in jail, but i don't think anyone really cares.
there was once this guy. a very strong guy, he loved to look at me, gaze upon your beauty. it's ravishing he told me trying to explain. i just thought him crazy. he never stopped watching though, he told me your way of dance in life is wonderful. i snickered at his comments and just went on living, his eyes always near. then one day i kissed him with my dirty lips of lies and i haven't seen him since. i think my reality was much more overwhelming then he thought, but i just went on dancing.
there was once this girl. a very happy girl, she danced like there as no tomorrow, but in reality there was always one for her. she looked at dancing as a way of life, as life it's self. i almost cried when she said that, i never could agree. i stumbled and tripped my way through my life so far. is this how life is suppose to be! i often times screamed to her. she stopped dancing to shrug before starting again. i think i was the reason she never got where she needed to be, i stopped her too much.
there was once this guy. a very honest guy, he spoke the truth and looked forward for each day. the sun was a happy thing for him, he slept at night. i never could. i would watch him sleep. in and out his stomach would go, i could never get enough of his life. hi aura, i love you i would whisper at night. it's at those times that i thought i was crazy.
there was once this girl. a very pretty girl, she smiled and lost herself in the happiness of the day. i always thought she was kinda stupid, looking for her funnies in the middle of the day, when only hell was meant to happen. the sun set feverously and all she could say was how pretty it is, and i thought it was the most horrid thing in the world. it looked like the world was gonna end, burn up in a fiery hell. at least i'll be quick is what she said to me. i almost choked on my laughter. it seem faked, forced, like i didn't want it anymore. maybe i didn't want laughter, it was happy, hopeful, stained. much like this girl's lips. she wore black lip stick, it hung on her mouth like an ornament. i just wanted to cut them off, staple them to a small board and say here lies the lips of a happy girl, stained behind metal bars of lies. that thought still makes me smile.
Falling in love
i fell in love with a guy
he had a curvy thumb.
long conversations by moonlight
hand gestures galore
then someone hit him
killing him with a two-by-four.
i feel i'm in love with a man
he has a suave attitude.
long walks by the beach
then someone finds him
in the water, too dead to save.
i fell in love with a guy
he had a radiating power.
parties with people
never prettier gowns
then someone looked and noticed a body
hanging out the window decorated by a frown.
i feel i'm in love with a man
he loves to dance.
moving around in circles
hoping no one to step on your feet
then someone found you crucified
nailed feet, never more to compete.
i feel my life is crashing
i try to smile.
singing, dancing, partying
all i pretend to be
then someone will find my body
broken; sad; never to be free.